frozen...

what do you do when all you can do is sit...and wait...and wonder...when everything seems so perfect in the equation and yet everything is just...frozen.

I would like to take this situation into my hands and make it what I think it should be. I would like to make everything fit into this story I have created and has been created for me. I would like all these peices to fit into my world. I would like to believe that God is not teasing me. I would like to do all of these things because of the here and the now and the lonely. But trampling through this tangled forest of my mind, I stop all at once...and on the forest floor where I almost planted my eager foot I see the smallest of flowers. Maybe it will grow, or maybe it will wither due to time and circumstance, but nevertheless, I have seen it and I stop to look at the beauty that is and that I hope could be. It will take all the strength I have not to pry open the petals, knowing that at whatever point I take it into my hands, will be the exact point that the growth will stop and I will be left with a flower, unable to grow in it's own way and in it's own time. I will remain frozen, waiting for the thaw... and I will wait...I will wait...