This is how I see it...

I picture God as this larger than life grandfather/ wise man type who is sitting in his very comfy rocker, smoking his pipe. All at once he looks down on the floor and I'm the little squeaking mouse totally freaking out, running around in circles because I can't figure this all out, totally disoriented and the cat should be pouncing any minute now. But God, as the grandfather/wise man doesn't squash me or shoo me away, in fact, he's totally unaffected by me except for his compassion. He smiles and scoops me up and gently places me into a little mouse sized rocker right next to his. Doesn't really say much, just blows a puff of smoke and chuckles, which lets me know he's got the skinny on things. And then we start to rock together. I use so much energy trying to keep up, trying to rock with him. I finally wear myself out, but the funny thing is, I'm still rocking. I look up at him, quite confused, but when I see his eyes twinkling and his face barely holding back a knowing smile, I finally realize that the only reason I've been rocking this whole time is because his foot has been gently pushing my chair back and forth....

that's how I see it.

The Inmost Fear...

Why do I fear?
God is here,
deep within-
covering nakedness,
mothering boldness,
sustaining exuberance,
restraining insolence,
siring insight,
firing lovelight,
fulfilling hollowness,
instilling hallowedness
of lung, limb, and life
with tongued fire and crossed strife-
through Christ's indwelling,
outwelling, sorrow-quelling,
joy-swelling victory-
warm love straining
to be heard, to be loved,
yet quiet as a craning ear in silent expectation,
as simple and lonely as a man's sigh,
as rich and crowded as God's sea
in which I swim to eternity
alone in crowded company-
I, a mere glint of God's light,
a mere hint of his might,
yet having the mint of his Son on my heart:
a cross sweeping to God's glorying
and a love flaming with God's worrying-
Christ about me,
in me,
with me,
today the darkening fierce joy of God's sorrow
and then the tranquil swift dawn of God's tomorrow.

Why then, do I fear?
God is here,

deep within,
forever:
Life grandly vibrant,
Love scandalously flagrant,
yet heart quietly homing
and Lord wisely lording.

But, then, - why do I fear?
...fear...fear...fear...

--David J. Hassel SJ


*I read these words late this evening, and found myself immediately immersed in them, as if they were my own...prayers. May whoever reads these words find themselves turning against fear and swimming upstream and into the sea of God's Peace*

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...

God, my Father,
You alone know my heart. I readily admit to the ways I don't trust you in this, past and present. I admit because you already know so well! I cry out to you again, as I did when you first heard my breaking heart twelve years ago. God, do something big! Prove yourself true and faithful. It's not that I necessarily need you to, because I would trust you anyway. But I WANT you to! I want to give you the loudest shout of alleluia that my heart holds within itself! I want to not have to keep this as a distant hope in my heart anymore. I want to bear the testimony that you do supernatural and miraculous things when people trust you! I want to testify to your care for your children! I believe in you, my God. I ask for forgiveness for the times I haven't and also for the times when I believed, but still walked the other way...Only your grace and redemption could still bring this to pass, but I know if you do, then it's because it's an important part of your plan, and I truly believe that it is...So, I pray for this and I pray for you to get all the credit and bring many to believe through the testimony you have prepared...Lord, I'm just waiting to sing out your praises for your goodness and faithfullness in this situation...Let it be! Amen! AMDG!

Prayer is...

Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honour of a Christian. If thou be a child of God, thou wilt seek thy Father's face, and live in thy Father's love. Pray that this year thou mayst be holy, humble, zealous, and patient; have closer communion with Christ, and enter oftener into the banqueting-house of His love. Pray that thou mayst be an example and a blessing unto others, and that thou mayst live more to the glory of thy Master. The motto for this year must be, "Continue in prayer."

(an exerpt from the January 2nd Morning and Evening devotions by Charles Spurgeon)
available at www.crosswalk.com/faith/devotionals