I greet you from Menomonie, Wisconsin, home for two weeks of Summer Festival Youth Camps. I had the opportunity to come and speak and share music here today. And what an opportunity! This is a camp who's simple, yet straight to the punch mission is to "give each teenager the opportunity to consider a relationship with Jesus Christ". And that is exactly what they do, and in a dynamic way.
A couple at my church have a brother who lives in Minneapolis and is friends with the guy who started Youth Forum Summer Fest 26 years ago (he also started Castaway Young Life Camp) They sent him my cd and he called me out of the blue a couple of months ago.
This camp is unique in that there's an even split or even more than 50% Catholic students in attendance at a non-denom camp. It's TRULY non-denominational, but very sensitive to who the audience is.
I guess all I wanted to say is that I'm constantly amazed at God's mighty working in every area. Tonight I saw kids respond in worship to their creator and mend brokenness and cry and hug and dedicate themselves. There was even a baptism. Three kids from a church had that desire and their pastor was here as a counselor. After the service, he baptized them. It was amazing!
Praise you, God! You are the giver of all good things and I marvel at the things you are letting me be a part of!
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Recurring Dreams...
Yesterday I got up at about 4:30 am to let my dog outside and since it was hot in my room, I went and laid down on the couch instead. The conditions must have been just right to bring about this dream...
It was so vivid, so real that when I woke up, my heart was pounding and all I could do was take a deep breath and lay there, thankful that I was awake again.
I don't dream a whole lot, but I've had this recurring dream about once a year since the beginning of college, so probably for the last 8 or 10 years. It is this:
It is my wedding day, and all at once I realize that I'm marrying the wrong person. Not in the sense that there is just one person and all the others are wrong, but more in the sense that I just KNOW that this person is not right. The conditions are all right. All my friends and family are there, and they are so happy for me. I'm in my wedding dress, but inside I am dying because I know I have a choice to make. The thing is that in my past dreams, I've never seen the groom's face, I just know it's not the right thing.
The dream is usually exactly the same. I start to try and say something to someone, but I can't because it's too late, everyone is there and I just have to fake my way through the whole thing, but all I want to do is run away and when I wake up, I feel sick.
Yesterday was so much the same and yet, so different from all the rest. It was even more intense, and this time the groom even had a face and I knew him. Just a friend from college, actually, which was random, but the fact is, he had a face and I could see him and it was all the more real. He asked me to marry him and I said OK and all at once it was my wedding day, but all the while, my inside was screaming, "NOOO!!! You're settling for the wrong person." But everyone was bustling around me, almost more aware of the event itself than of Me. So I get determined to stop this and I first try to talk to Jenny and tell her that I can't do this and she says, "of course you can do this, it's fine!" Then I start telling everyone No and they just pass me off and then I'm walking down the aisle and I just say out loud, "I cannot and will not do this!"
Then I woke up.
I had a meeting with my spiritual director yesterday afternoon and I told her about it and I think this may be the most meaningful dream I've had, maybe ever.
I've had a tendency in my life to make decisions based on what will please others, at the expense of what I know deep down was the right thing. I've also had temptations lately to delve into relationships that would be convenient and nothing lasting. My flesh says yes, but my spirit is clinging desperately to something more lifegiving: A future that I cannot see yet, but I believe is there. So my personal little war goes on.
I know what's right, I know what's wrong, but it's developing the ability to choose according to my deepest convictions. The thing that Sr. Sarah pointed out is that never in my past dreams have I gotten to the point where I really stop the whole thing. Well, this time I did. I made the choice that altered everything and changed my entire life right there in that second.
I feel, in a certain sort of way, that I'm having the book thrown at me as I await my departure to a different life. Like a last ditch effort to keep me where I once was: Chained to my poor decisions. I don't want to be there ever again. I'll fight, I'll stop the music, rip off the dress and run to what I know is right, even if I don't know how it will all turn out in the end. Do what's right, leave the rest to God.
I'm saying "Yes" to God's proposal. This will never be wrong.
It was so vivid, so real that when I woke up, my heart was pounding and all I could do was take a deep breath and lay there, thankful that I was awake again.
I don't dream a whole lot, but I've had this recurring dream about once a year since the beginning of college, so probably for the last 8 or 10 years. It is this:
It is my wedding day, and all at once I realize that I'm marrying the wrong person. Not in the sense that there is just one person and all the others are wrong, but more in the sense that I just KNOW that this person is not right. The conditions are all right. All my friends and family are there, and they are so happy for me. I'm in my wedding dress, but inside I am dying because I know I have a choice to make. The thing is that in my past dreams, I've never seen the groom's face, I just know it's not the right thing.
The dream is usually exactly the same. I start to try and say something to someone, but I can't because it's too late, everyone is there and I just have to fake my way through the whole thing, but all I want to do is run away and when I wake up, I feel sick.
Yesterday was so much the same and yet, so different from all the rest. It was even more intense, and this time the groom even had a face and I knew him. Just a friend from college, actually, which was random, but the fact is, he had a face and I could see him and it was all the more real. He asked me to marry him and I said OK and all at once it was my wedding day, but all the while, my inside was screaming, "NOOO!!! You're settling for the wrong person." But everyone was bustling around me, almost more aware of the event itself than of Me. So I get determined to stop this and I first try to talk to Jenny and tell her that I can't do this and she says, "of course you can do this, it's fine!" Then I start telling everyone No and they just pass me off and then I'm walking down the aisle and I just say out loud, "I cannot and will not do this!"
Then I woke up.
I had a meeting with my spiritual director yesterday afternoon and I told her about it and I think this may be the most meaningful dream I've had, maybe ever.
I've had a tendency in my life to make decisions based on what will please others, at the expense of what I know deep down was the right thing. I've also had temptations lately to delve into relationships that would be convenient and nothing lasting. My flesh says yes, but my spirit is clinging desperately to something more lifegiving: A future that I cannot see yet, but I believe is there. So my personal little war goes on.
I know what's right, I know what's wrong, but it's developing the ability to choose according to my deepest convictions. The thing that Sr. Sarah pointed out is that never in my past dreams have I gotten to the point where I really stop the whole thing. Well, this time I did. I made the choice that altered everything and changed my entire life right there in that second.
I feel, in a certain sort of way, that I'm having the book thrown at me as I await my departure to a different life. Like a last ditch effort to keep me where I once was: Chained to my poor decisions. I don't want to be there ever again. I'll fight, I'll stop the music, rip off the dress and run to what I know is right, even if I don't know how it will all turn out in the end. Do what's right, leave the rest to God.
I'm saying "Yes" to God's proposal. This will never be wrong.
Monday, July 10, 2006
"Ve-Jetta-ble Oil"
I am excited about this one...
I made the decision to sell my bee-yoo-tee-ful 2003 Red Subaru Forester "Red Ruby the Subee" and exchange my All Wheel Drive Dream Machine for a "grease car". That's right, a GREASE CAR.
When I told my sister that I was selling my car, she just laughed at me and told me I truly have a committment problem (even if it is to just a car!)...I was not offended considering the fact that I have owned 14 cars in my 12 years of driving-sheesh! How did that happen?
I truly think I have landed on something that will be amazing. Here it is:
about a year ago, I started reading about these nut cases, probably all Californians (hey, did I just slam myself!?) who were "converting" their diesel cars to run on used vegetable oil. And they were getting the oil from fast food restaurants. "Yea, okay, whatever", I thought. But the more I read, the more I was intrigued. However, I kind of just forgot about it and went with my Subaru purchase. But now I, Miss jobless by choice, need to be free of a car payment and my work of choice will mean me driving ridiculous miles and spending even more ridiculous amounts of money on said gas...
The "vegetable cars" started working their way into the picture last week...
I did some research with my knowledgeable brother in law and it's totally legitimate. It truly works. You buy a conversion kit for $795 and from then on you can run your diesel car on FREE vegetable oil...Capital C Crazy! The crazier thing is I'm totally going to do it!
I am going to buy a 2000 Volkswagen Jetta with a TDI (turbo diesel) 1.9 Litre engine. It is at a salvage yard in Denver, as it has been in an accident. However, it has a clean title and very minimal damage (about $600), then I'll get the conversion kit and be on my McMerry Way!
How's that for smart, environmental innovation? I'm pumped to not pump any more from the pump...Goodbye Conoco, Hello McDonald's!
More Details to come!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)