Where do I even begin...maybe it was about 30 some hours ago when I said yes to being the one to work the blizzard shift and stay here until someone else could...maybe it was a month and a half ago when I took this job in the first place...all I know is that right now I want to cry and I am sick to my stomach at the mess we humans are in...
I am watching one of our girls self-destruct before my eyes. She is reverting to her manipulative ways and she is stealing and lying and she is so...broken...and aren't we all? I don't even know what to say because I am so tired right now, but I'm afraid that sleep will lend itself to me no more. I see a picture of her 3 year old daughter echoing her mom saying, "We don't belong here..." And it's ringing in my head. I see her mom crying on the couch and the 3 year old is holding her mom's head and saying, "it's okay, mommy"...I hear the police man ask me if she can stay here just one more night...I imagine her sneaking in the middle of the night to steal something again...trying to fill the unfathomable void left by too many years of abandonment...broken...aren't we all? God, Save Us! This is Christmas and YOU are the reason, so please be real. I don't want to serve a Santa in the sky, I want to be with a God who wants to get dirty and smelly and lay in a filthy manger because that's what we are and that's where we live...We lick our wounds and settle for cheap bandaids and you are here to heal, to announce salvation and I need to see it right now.
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