Goodbye Nebraska--Hello, Colorado

"everything familiar and nothing like home"...

This is my saying to encapsulate my feelings of being back in Colorado.

August 1997. I stuffed all I needed into my jeep cherokee and left Colorado to go to College in Nebraska. Little did I know then how much I would grow to love all that it was and all God allowed in these past 9 years. So much more than I could put down on a page...
Now, I'm sitting here in a somewhat strange house, dogsitting 3 huge samoyed dogs ...and I've lost track of my days. I've done so much driving that I forget where I am (really, it's a very weird feeling) and what I've been doing. It's hard to believe that only a little over a week ago I was loading up my uncle's 1978 (great year to be born!) horse trailer with all my earthly stuff and then getting it rained on through the slats and unloading it at my dad's house into a room where it would not fit and wondering, "what the crap am I doing here anyway?" I thought I would cry big crocodile tears when I drove past the Nebraska state line for the last official time, but no. I'm more numb, I suppose. It's more like this feeling: "God, I really hope you've got a plan in this, because if you don't, I'm in big trouble". So, I've been calling out much more frequently and earnestly and intentionally, which is in itself a good thing.
So, I'm sitting here wearing my Nebraska sweatshirt very proudly and wondering how I'll fit into this place again, when I, the person that I am, feel so different. Here's an interesting self-analysis. When I'm in Nebraska it's like a bragging right that I'm from Colorado, as if I'm super-cool mountain girl or something! Now that I'm in Colorado all I want to do is slap the big red "N" sticker somewhere for the world to see and be proud that I don't drive like a psychomaniac like the rest of these folks seem to do. I'm nice. I'm from Nebraska.
But, I digress.
All sorts of strange emotions that I'm trying to give myself the time and space to fully experience, work through and accept. Accept that people won't wave when I drive by. Accept that I more than likely will not see anyone I know at the grocery store, muchless, ten or so people! Accept that I won't find an open road to drive on. Accept that life is different. But different doesn't mean bad, just different! So, I am trusting this step has ground beneath it that I will land on as I go...even if I can't see the ground quite yet.